Kate and Thomas were in the lounge watching television but then Kate started to put on Barbie, then they started to fight over the remote control. Thomas started RUNNING up the stairs but Kate dragged Thomas down and he died. Kate thought he was just being stupid.
Then a bright shiny stairs came and Thomas started to walk up the stairs, a GATEWAY was there and it said heavenly express. He asked for a ticket but the conductor didn’t have one so the man gave Thomas a letter and gave him one minute. He started to get COLD. He ran down the path and into the house. He started to beg Kate to sign the letter but she said no. Then Thomas went into a BLACK hole that led to hell…
mrslathamsclass 
WOW! I dramatic piece of writing Georgia. I like your phrase ‘heavenly express.’ This really portrays the image your are trying to create. I like the way way you have used the ‘heavenly express’ in comparison with a train where Thomas asks for a ticket! Could you start your sentences differently than ‘he’ as you have used this a few times towards the end?