I sat in the garden , stargazing at every silver spot . The stars danced around happily with each other . I lay in the long grass quietly as a small breeze tickled my face. The night was beautiful .
From the corner of my eye I spotted a bulging light coming towards my garden . Having no idea what it was I hid behind a table like a cat waiting to get wet . Lights turned on as a metal sphere landed. It was so bright that I was almost blinded . At that moment I realised it was a spaceship! Grass blew into my face , tasting of mud and dandelions . I went to investigate , the ship had no windows or doors , it was just a oval with powers . Or as I assumed . As I walked to the front of the oval and stared for minutes until it opened …
mrslathamsclass 
*brilliant wow words
*very good putting punctuation in the right places
Hi Rebecca. This is a confident and thoughtfully written piece. Your opening sentences are great. I especially like “stargazing at every silver spot” – a very original phrase that captures the magic of the night. There are many examples of well-chosen words and effective descriptive phrases throughout and you should be very proud of this writing.
Thank you for approving of my work . I am probably as pleased as you at my work
Great use of wow words and good use of punctuation