Hungry, the crocodile felt starved. He ate a pepper… He ran to find some water but never found any, he tried to find something to drink. He didn’t though. Then he found something dripping. He ran as fast as he could he then ate the orange.
The crocodile started to eat oranges rather a lot of the time. He thought they was delicious also,extremely soft in his mouth. He never ate a living thing again . He totally forgot about how he was suppose to eat meat like every other crocodile. The crocodile started to be much more healthier than any of the other crocodiles. WOW!
mrslathamsclass 
Brilliant story Jessica! I truly enjoyed reading it. The things that caught my eye was the great sentence openers. You also used dazzling adjectives for example; delicious and extremely. The thing you need to improve is at using better punctuation. Other than that your story was fantastic!
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Hi Jessica,
I really enjoyed reading this story of yours. You have used some good adjectives to describe and portray the image you had in your mind to your intended audience. You have also included some imaginative detail and sequenced the events in your writing very well and your use of ellipses helps dramatise your writing. My suggestion would be to consider how you start your sentences, you have included a lot of ‘he’s’ to start your sentences. Also, be careful with was (singular) and were (plural.) On the other hand, keep working hard with your writing, it has already improved so much! Well done!
Mr McKean (Team 100wc)
What a wonderful story Jessica. I really like how the crocodile made a moral decision that was unpredictable ( for a carnivore!) You kept your readers engaged with a lot of action. Well done !
Mrs T ( Team 100 WC )