Once there lived a goose and it was in charge of a rickety bridge. The group of animals that were crossing the bridge included a rabbit,” hip hop”, a horse, “clip clop” and a snake, “hiss hiss” . The fluffy, white rabbit crossed the brown bridge.
“Who’s hip hopping over my bridge?”
“It’s me,” said the rabbit.
” Ohh, off you go”.
After a horse came across clip clopping
“Who’s clip clopping over my bridge?”.
“It’s me,” said the horse softly.
“Off you go,” the goose said angrily.
After the snake came across.
“Who’s silvery sliding over my bridge”.
“It’s me,” said the snake.
“Ohh, off you go,” hissed the goose.
Then the rabbit and the horse and the snake crossed the end.They walked straight into an alligators mouth .The goose tricked the dumb animals.SNAP! Suddenly an elephant charged over the bridge. The elephant jumped out of the alligators mouth, once swallowed, and then the group of animals shot out of its mouth.The alligator fell off the bridge and all the animals built another bridge so other animals could get across safely. They threw a brick on the goose and the goose died and so did the alligator.
mrslathamsclass 
* good use of punctuation
*good use of adjetives
EBI little less speech
Goodness me Samantha! Such violent animals! I’m very glad most survived. I can see from this story that you have a great imagination. Take care that you plan all your great ideas before you start to write. That way your readers can follow the story. I hope to see your work on 100wc again!