“Who’s that?” asked Bess, pointing at the window. There was plainly someone watching them. But Oliver wouldn’t say anything.
“Run!” he shouted suddenly as another figure appeared on the roof. It was too late, the mysterious figure leapt from the roof and landed before Oliver and Bess. They turned to run but a terrifing man stood in their way.
“Don’t worry!” Bess reasured her younger brother. “All we have to do is-“
“Duck!” yelled Oliver as the figure ran at the siblings. they dashed for the trees and clambered up one.
“Who was that man?” Bess asked.
“The man who killed our mum!” sobbed Oliver.
mrslathamsclass 
well done Rebekah, what a cliffhanger.
Rebekah what a powerful piece of writing with a very clever twist at the end.
Your dialogue is excellent and your punctuation is very good indeed.
Well done
Rebecca
Hi Rebekah,
I enjoyed reading your 100WC this week. I like how you have included dialogue and description to build up the characters. You have made it full of suspense and tension too. I can imagine it as a comic strip, which is fantastic! The only thing I can suggest to improve it further would be to see if you can spot the missing capital letter. A really great entry to the 100WC this week. Well done.
Mrs McGuiness (Team 100WC) Derbyshire, England